RedLime unveils NEW service!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
RedLime Web announced today the first ever Pre-Emptive ESP Monitoring Maintenance and Site Updating Service
Co-owner, Cherie Funderburg states, "with this service our clients won't even have to email us anymore. We'll simply be alerted that they are thinking of contacting us for a change to their website and we're able to get it done and notify them before they've even had a chance to contact us."
RedLime believes that this service will cut down on unnecessary emails by 90%.
Cherie says, "currently we receive between 10 and 100 emails daily by clients who need to have this little thing done, that price changed, or this product here removed. We enjoy doing these updates as they are quick and easy to do but have always wondered about the waste of bandwidth and hard drive space needed to store these "Done!" emails. In addition, it's struck as as a waste of our time and our clients' time to have to type out the request. So, we came up with the 'PEESPMMSUS'.
"In addition, this service also allows us to make sense of an email that a client might send that doesn't contain all the information we might need to do the job we're tasked. An example would be sale that is supposed to start on X date. This sale is only valid on X products but the client forgets to tell us this and a number of the incorrect products are then sold at a discount when they shouldn't be. This service will allow us to verify that the information we have is correct and that we have all necessary info so we don't make a mistake."
When asked about the potential for finding out information that the client might have that is not related to their working relationship with RedLime, Cherie was quick to set the record straight.
"Oh no! We won't be able to get any information from someone's head that is not related to us. We won't be seeing your darkest thoughts or snagging the CC number as you enter it for an online purchase. In order to access this service, the client needs to clearly and emphatically think 'REDLIME' and we'll pick up on everything that comes after.
"In addition, our service is comprised of a bit of AI programming, that's artificial intelligence, and it is able to determine whether a thought does pertain to RedLime. If not, it will blur it out and we will not receive it. Or if it does come through, it will be in an unusable format, similar to blurring out body parts on a TV show."
RedLime is definitely ahead of the times but is certain that other firms will be quick to follow with this service.
"How could they not? This is such a great idea - and we're thrilled to have been the pioneers in this line of thinking. We hold the patent on 'PEESPMMSUS' and there are plans in place to set up a website where other businesses, including those that offer services outside of the web development field, will be able to subscribe to the service. We'll be offering monthly brain-washing sessions so these businesses will be open to the thoughts of their customers and clients."
It would appear that the folks at RedLime Web Development have outdone themselves this time. I wore a tin foil hat as I conducted this interview, just as an extra layer of precaution should either of the 'Limes' manage to penetrate my thoughts. But Cherie laughed as I walked in and assured me that this was an unnecessary step and that my thoughts were my own. I was glad to hear it, but kept my hat on anyway.
Contact:
RedLime Web Development
http://redlimeweb.com
Cherie Funderburg, co-owner
Joe Funderburg, co-owner
Written by:
Susie Q Doo
Satirical Reporter at large
Co-owner, Cherie Funderburg states, "with this service our clients won't even have to email us anymore. We'll simply be alerted that they are thinking of contacting us for a change to their website and we're able to get it done and notify them before they've even had a chance to contact us."
RedLime believes that this service will cut down on unnecessary emails by 90%.
Cherie says, "currently we receive between 10 and 100 emails daily by clients who need to have this little thing done, that price changed, or this product here removed. We enjoy doing these updates as they are quick and easy to do but have always wondered about the waste of bandwidth and hard drive space needed to store these "Done!" emails. In addition, it's struck as as a waste of our time and our clients' time to have to type out the request. So, we came up with the 'PEESPMMSUS'.
"In addition, this service also allows us to make sense of an email that a client might send that doesn't contain all the information we might need to do the job we're tasked. An example would be sale that is supposed to start on X date. This sale is only valid on X products but the client forgets to tell us this and a number of the incorrect products are then sold at a discount when they shouldn't be. This service will allow us to verify that the information we have is correct and that we have all necessary info so we don't make a mistake."
When asked about the potential for finding out information that the client might have that is not related to their working relationship with RedLime, Cherie was quick to set the record straight.
"Oh no! We won't be able to get any information from someone's head that is not related to us. We won't be seeing your darkest thoughts or snagging the CC number as you enter it for an online purchase. In order to access this service, the client needs to clearly and emphatically think 'REDLIME' and we'll pick up on everything that comes after.
"In addition, our service is comprised of a bit of AI programming, that's artificial intelligence, and it is able to determine whether a thought does pertain to RedLime. If not, it will blur it out and we will not receive it. Or if it does come through, it will be in an unusable format, similar to blurring out body parts on a TV show."
RedLime is definitely ahead of the times but is certain that other firms will be quick to follow with this service.
"How could they not? This is such a great idea - and we're thrilled to have been the pioneers in this line of thinking. We hold the patent on 'PEESPMMSUS' and there are plans in place to set up a website where other businesses, including those that offer services outside of the web development field, will be able to subscribe to the service. We'll be offering monthly brain-washing sessions so these businesses will be open to the thoughts of their customers and clients."
It would appear that the folks at RedLime Web Development have outdone themselves this time. I wore a tin foil hat as I conducted this interview, just as an extra layer of precaution should either of the 'Limes' manage to penetrate my thoughts. But Cherie laughed as I walked in and assured me that this was an unnecessary step and that my thoughts were my own. I was glad to hear it, but kept my hat on anyway.
Contact:
RedLime Web Development
http://redlimeweb.com
Cherie Funderburg, co-owner
Joe Funderburg, co-owner
Written by:
Susie Q Doo
Satirical Reporter at large
posted by cherie at
5:57 PM
